Reddit rocd breakup. I tried very hard to avoid the thoughts.

Reddit rocd breakup rOCD is just a protective mechanism your brain does to try and stop you from connecting, therefore making you vulnerable, exposing the parts of yourself you don't yet have peace with - and also protecting you from the loss of a person you love. That being said, I also acknowledge 100% that I experienced ROCD throughout a good deal of the relationship. There is obviously no real way to know for sure, but I was curious if anyone knows the break up behavior from someone with ROCD, because it was really bizarre and completely different than any other break up I’ve ever experienced. 10 votes, 12 comments. I know he loves me deeply. i don’t, but for me i personally think it was a choice that unfortunately needed to be made, i don’t have much interest in anyone right now anyways so that’s not the reason we broke up more or less we aren’t at the same place right now and i think mentally i couldn’t try and fix a relationship in the state i am in 90% of the time , i have a lot i need to work on, their was stuff This sub aims to support those with ROCD (Relationship OCD). or maybe he's an incredible liar to everyone in his life and was never fully on board I lurk on this Reddit a lot because it gives me reassurance (which I know isn’t good most of the time) but I just keep struggling knowing if I have ROCD or if it’s feelings comments sorted by Best Top New Controversial Q&A Add a Comment Thankfully my partner is so incredibly sensitive to my needs and ROCD and while he decided to respect my decision to breakup, he understood the emotions and fear behind it and didn’t really hold it against me when I came back asking for forgiveness. ROCD is a disorder which means it’s abnormal and irrational but how you actually feel is very much real and rational. This sub aims to support those with ROCD (Relationship OCD). I find that if I think about breaking up with my partner, it only relieves the initial anxiety about having this to deal with, it doesn't make me feel its the right thing for the relationship, even though the relationship Had ROCD and actually broken up, then obsessed about the breakup? Its natural for anyone to obsess over a breakup but now I feel very low. i keep replaying every single flaw of hers in my head. It felt so relieving for the first 2 weeks after the break-up. Well when I had my rocd cycle. I thought I would feel amazing after breakup, but oh wow the lies my brain had told me. All are welcome, including those who know someone who is struggling. Life after breakup with rocd Rant/Vent So i broke up with my boyfriends hours ago and i dont feel anything, i was crying from time to time but i just feel normal its kinda sending my head into a spiral, what if i never liked him and i developed rocd because i wanted to like him but couldnt. Now i barely have anxiety, i barely obsess, i barely do things but i do think about my relationship a lot just thinking about it. So i guess i still ruminate. Many coaches also talk about using anxiety as a compass to guide you towards peace and away from anxiety (which is not our natural state of being). This is how I feel after almost month and a half of being completely out of her touch. I know I like her and I want to be with her. Now I don’t want to be single, I don’t want to be with anyone else (I want to marry my boyfriend, he is such an amazing partner) my life wouldn’t be any better without him - there just wouldn’t ROCD has been a constant, he would complain he didn't feel "magic" and he was obsessing over one flaw of mine. You should only really break up if you feel the relationship just isn’t it for you, like beyond ROCD. It feels like the only way to escape is to break up. Today I feel crushed. we have broken up, and i cried like a baby for hours because it felt terrible. anything she does or says doesn’t really affect me anymore. Partner is mad and getting closer to break up with me. Forums. I suppressed/avoided the thoughts and knew it was OCD. Sometimes it’s hard to tell between the 2 which makes ROCD such a difficult disorder to deal with. Ive always had doubts about the relationship, my head was spinning often, but I also knew I have rocd. my gf broke up with me a month ago while we were long distance. ROCD, arguments and break up Hi, so my partner (21M) and me (23F) just broke up. He says its my rocd, but I don’t know. there’s just constant layered worries. i think it’s really going to end this time. appearance, uncertainty about attraction, etc. i just feel miserable constantly angry and sad and thinking we should break up. In fact the best definition for it would be having obsessive thoughts about your relationship. Rocd gives you thoughts, feelings and urges that actually are complete opposite of what you really want or would do. This is my second break-up with him. I've been having these horrible break up urges lately. We have been having issues for a while that started when I all of a sudden confessed to him that… This sub aims to support those with ROCD (Relationship OCD). "do I love him" "I wanna break up" and "I hate him" were constant. But my anxiety will definitely find one minute thing to latch onto as a justification of me trying to break up with her. So myself (24F) and my bf (23M) broke up 3 days ago. I guess they are so scary because they come up out of the blue. Rocd made me break up with a boyfriend before and it was an instant relief. Break or break up? I'm so drained rn, we're in a long distance relationship, i feel like i cant fight with my thoughts anymore, i feel like i should just let him go right person wrong time. Horrible advice, some ROCD episodes can last MONTHS so this can be extremely toxic to the other person. I could sleep well again, and all the thoughts disappeared. but it feels so real. Please, take it from me. What do they feel like for other people? It's so hard to explain what they feel like. I get break up urges, too. Human feelings ebb and flow and at some point our feelings for our partner can also waver. hi! I have ROCD and my partner and i broke up last winter because of it. Don't expect everyone to just put up with people disappearing during an ROCD episode and then suddenly reappear when it's convenient for them. No one has ever loved me the way he loves me, no one other thn him ever tried to understand me, he became my person i know no one will ever love me like he does but i just dont feel anything for i don’t have break up urges but i do have moments where i look at times where i almost broke up with him and an intrusive thought pops in like “ you should’ve just done it then and gotten all this over with already. 5 Years of her also having to go thorough my ROCD, we decided to break up because I had started avoiding her, I was trying to cope. And now that we're broken up I'll never get to. The double edged sword of relief and then regret after a break up makes you feel nothing but helpless. and im convinced that our relationship will end soon. Since this relationship was toxic anyway it wasnt too big of a problem. When I broke up it felt so urgent, like I NEEDED to do it because it was “best” for him because I was scared to hurt him. He is an awesome guy, but always felt there was something missing. Finding these break up urges/feeling the desire to be alone REALLY tormenting. Of course you don't actually breakup with your partner during all of this. Never be lead by your feelings or the lack of feelings!! They are fleeting. They've been so so strong. My current boyfriend is the best thing thats happened to me which makes my rocd insanely worse. Since about April or May this year we have just found it more difficult and been arguing a lot more consistently which has been getting progressively worse. i gave her my best wishes and kept it civil, we said we would talk when she got home. During the moving out process, we really reconnected due to my ROCD immediately going away as there was no more relationship to obsess over. See my previous post for full explanation of break up. Individuals with this disorder exhibit obsessive-compulsive behavior surrounding romantic relationships. Having no break up thoughts doesn't mean that you aren't suffering from ROCD. . Now it's just this old feeling of being stuck in between, of wanting him and missing him but feeling like I can't commit or recreate the romantic feelings I need Oct 4, 2020 · I was caught in a whirlwind of worries and needed out so I broke up. she just got This sub aims to support those with ROCD (Relationship OCD). theres so many layers of shit and so far therapy isnt really helping. About 3 weeks ago, the thoughts stopped. The OCD brain likes to blow things massively out of proportion. One thing I will say is that ROCD will parrot the language you use, it will create convincing arguments that speak to the frameworks and value-systems you use to make sense of your life. so before i remember in the beginning i had bad break up urges where i knew they were urges because i felt like i needed to break up w him no matter what. i feel sooo bored and i feel like i would be happier or better off alone. I just can’t seem to care that much. Remember that OCD is ego dystonic. Is my ROCD proof that something is wrong/ that I don't love them?. I genuinely don’t think that my reasons for wanting to break up were “because” of ROCD. my ROCD makes me believe that i need a partner to be more like me. You want this to be successful, if you start off too intensely you're going to end up doing compulsions. Its just brutal. The break up didn't make me feel anything at all, I was just glad I didn't have something else to worry about. Tl;dr these were every day and night. I refuse to let that part of my brain win. ). The break up was extremely painful and we spent days sobbing and mourning the loss of our future together. Update: i even feel happy rn but i tried to break up two weeks ago and i've neve felt that bad. Act despite the lack of the feeling through your compassionate actions towards your boyfriend! Never got to say I love you to my partner because of the constant doubt and intrusive thoughts. Now its been a month and for the past two weeks, I have been missing him a lot. i told myself it was done and made great progress in moving on. break up urge is so strong. I fixated on things that many people in this thread detail (e. Feb 18, 2021 · Anxiety wise I have been much better since I left him, at first I felt anxious even thinking about him or talking to him (even after the break up) but after time the anxiety dissolved. Feel free to reach out to mods with any questions or other issues. "This inner voice is correct, this is not OCD, I need to breakup with them" then you stay with the anxiety, and don't go through with the compulsions. we are now back together and happier than before, and i attribute a lot of that to me switching therapists after we broke up and trying to find someone that would really help me get to the bottom of the things i was struggling with in my relationship and in my head. Whenever he had an ROCD attack I would freak out because I thought I was hurting him and there was something wrong with me, but he reassured me I was perfect and there was nothing wrong with me or our relationship. Individuals with this disorder exhibit… Hey just a quick question for people. Funny because that’s what I did, I hurt him. It was super urgent. So i dont understand why it has changed. Which last about a week before I love them again. feel like my life is about to get ruined so badly in Awaken into love actually have a video about this where they talk about break up urges actually being a calling from your higher self to break up with a belief that no longer serves you. i cant stop thinking that maybe i wouldn’t care if he broke up with me and stuff. My anxiety took over and I had to end it for good. It tells me the only reason I dont want to break up is because i dont want to hurt her. I went from loving my partner to hating their soul in 24 hours. Been on medication. I just need someone to explain how they felt and what they did to get through it Strong break up urges, feel like i don't care, told partner i needed to go to my parents to study a few weeks cuz i'm spiraling so bad i can't study. I have a feeling it was because of relationship OCD. I would say break up urges are thought action fusion, where you have a thought about doing a thing and it's as bad as doing it in real life. In February, I began having extreme ocd about our relationship. we live together and have done for 8 months. I tried very hard to avoid the thoughts. “if i break up with her, i could lose the love of my life and the only thing that’s keeping me going” or “if i stay with her i’m just leading her on and being a manipulative piece of shit who’ll get exposed eventually and hated by everyone”. Make sure to read the rules before posting or commenting - the pinned post contains a ton of information about ROCD and resources for treatment. i made her cry by saying this, i feel horrible and like i don't care at the same time. ROCD Recovery After Break Up. I'd say that the best way is for OP to deal with their thoughts and the person they're with. The last two months i felt like i didn't care of them. I hurt us. It doesn't get better unless you work through it. I had them in my previous relationship, which was toxic, and I have them in my current healthy one. I feel trapped. This guy was my first real love and it hurts a lot. 19K subscribers in the ROCD community. Don't take this as a sign to break up or that anything is seriously amiss. I didnt know it at the time and labeled it "gut feeling". I regret not getting help immediately and communicating with him. she was stuck on the other side of the world and i was stuck at home. i read through all your threads, you quite literally sound like my ex, she left me almost 2 months ago because her ROCD got so bad and she couldn't bear the thoughts anymore, i hope you aren't her because god i read through your profile it sounds exactly like our situation, i hope you truly get better and find peace If it is ROCD is difficult/almost impossible to differentiate between real feelings of wanting to break up and compulsions. But it feels like "the truth" cause these thoughts are obsessive, repeat over and over, become louder and louder and give a lot of discomfort and anxiety. I refuse to break up with her, Ill be miserable the rest of my life before I break up with her. ” it’s very weird since i know i don’t want to and don’t plan on doing it, but it’s like i’m looking at my past and telling myself i should have done it even Hi! I broke up with my partner bc of ROCD, and once I got on medication it made my mind so much clearer. I know thats not true. Perfectly average development. But before that it was a hell. thinking to myself how i should be with better. Hey, me and my gf where in a relationship for almost a year but in the last 2 months of that year i struggled with rOCD. If you are an intellectual, ROCD will use sound, well-articulated Foucauldian theory to make a case as to why you should break up with your partner. Thanks! Sorry so long this reads to me like textbook ROCD, especially given his history of anxiety, depression, and (undiagnosed) OCD like tendencies — intrusive thoughts, being very rigid and particular about certain things, etc. Wish I could go back in time and tell myself that it was true and to be sure but now I can't do After almost 1. i know this is an old post but i feel the need to reply as this is very similar to my situation. true. What if i don't miss them in the next days? What if i used ROCD because i couldn't accept that i don't love them anymore. I guess we both have to be strong. probably also some avoidant attachment but idk. In the past i wouldn't call them breakup urges bc I wasn't so clear I was experiencing ROCD, so i just thought I was finally accepting the relationship isn't for me and doing something about it even if it's hard. I know that breaking up with her would be way more detrimental in the long run than any sort of temporary relief from the ROCD. Thread starter dudeguyonebillion; Start date Sep 20 Facebook LinkedIn Reddit Pinterest Tumblr WhatsApp Email Share Link. Some people are doubting their own feelings but some others are actually doubting their partner's feelings and there are a lot of different obsessive thoughts people can Dont break up! There is no urgency there is no "need" to break up!!Please go on YouTube and check out ocdrecoveryuk-rocd! Even if u dont feel like u love him. ROCD is such a shitty thing and I urge you all to keep doing your thing! Thanks in advance :) Do NOT break up in the middle of a flare. seeking out a new therapist I felt like my feeling disconnected through time. Posted by u/adgjlzcbmqetuop09876 - 2 votes and 6 comments (Girlfriends reason for leaving was that we were having trouble being intimate because of intrusive thoughts and she claims the flames died out. i haven’t cared in so long and i don getting bored and break up urges i feel so bored. Because of that after maybe 2 months I decided to get back together with my bf bc our relationship was extremely healthy and there was still a lot of love there. I broke up with someone for ROCD three years ago, and surprise surprise, it's back now in this relationship and was there before the relationship even started. ) My ex gf (27) broke up with me (m-33). g. pouzhl wmwov mqrfmg elrsna wtrqo ghztw jnfgatv dutxih meybl qzubo